What differentiates the weak from the strong is not the nature of the present circumstance but the faith and the confidence that one can make it through and emerge victorious. When one realizes that that, which is today, was not there yesterday, and will again not be there tomorrow, then one has great strength to face that which is today. One realizes that if one can hold on steadfastly to patience and to perseverance, one can see oneself through anything.
This knowledge, this sentiment, and this ability bring great strength to one's life and to one's way of living, making one courageous. However, even though this is life altering, it is not fundamentally transforming for the one faced with such predicament. Although it hones courage, it does not make one fearless.
The conviction to get through that which is painful at present until the point in time when it is not painful anymore, is still rooted in hope, is based in a desire to escape from the present, is a mental invention to look away from that which is to the times when it will be not. And even though this can extract tremendous amounts of energy and courage at times, by its very nature, it keeps one rooted in the fear of the present, of that which is.
There is, however, a deeper, a different understanding and approach to life, which is not based in fear, or in hope, or in desire, and not even in courage. This is the state of mindful indifference: One is not attempting to be strong until things change, one is not fabricating a sense of light and warmth in a cold dark night by looking at a distant twinkling star. But one, instead, with absolute conviction faces and lives up to life as it is in this moment, with all its strife and all of its tribulations. There is no reaching out for hope, which is an outcome of fear and a road to misery. There is no desire for things to be any different from what they may be at this moment. There is no prayer asking for anything. There is no anxiety, no feverishness, about the way things are. There is instead a total indifference to the severity and to the duration of the situation. There is total presence to the way things are without a single movement tainted by a desire to escape into anything which is not.
If this is what it is, then so be it.
If this were all there ever was, then so be it.
If there won't be anything but this, then so be it.
If this will never change, then so be it.
If this is my present and my forever, then so be it.
Unflinching, unwavering, indifferent, I am.
To be present, to be fully aware - without escaping, choosing, complaining, or demanding - to that which is, is transformation, is coming home, is living, is being alive. The courageous seeks to fulfill desire, while the fearless remains unmoved, unwavering, and indifferent.
