An Inquiry: The Source Behind All Human Applications

I was struck by an interesting thought today. I do not consider this thought strange given that I work in the IT (Information Technology) industry. At times it feels as if I spend more time with computers than with people and it is very likely true. It is interesting though to wonder why this thought did not occur sooner.

A software application is a piece of code (set of writings written in a machine-readable language that causes machines to act according to the documented instructions), deployed on machines (computers/servers), which is capable of interacting with humans (for the most part) for purposes of information exchange and processing of data.

An application can consist of many parts but for our discussion we will limit to some illustrative and major elements such as the screen through which requests can be sent and responses can be received, a server that does the processing, a database that stores data and interconnecting wires (network).

With this background let us jump into what came to mind.

If one were to ask what constitutes an application specifically one could not point to any one component. For the most part the code is the application. However, this code is not an application until it is ‘live’ on an infrastructure consisting of an interface, server, backend, and network. Every part together is the application but also not really the application (server is not the application, nor is the network, nor the database).

Similar is the case with us humans. When posed with the question of who one is, one usually starts with one’s name, age, religion, social position or financial status. However, none of these is the person itself. One may then get down to identifying oneself as one’s body. However, the various parts of body although together constitute the body none of them by itself is the person per se (my hand is not me but a part of me).

It is possible to dissect various parts of the body and for the person to still exist. Similar to if one were to take away the keyboard and the mouse, the application still exists though is no longer easily accessible. Some parts are more crucial than others– like the heart or the brain. End of either of these would be considered as the death of the organism. Similarly, for the application if the server is removed, it would be the ‘death’ of the application.

This leads to the question whether human beings really are anything more than the mix of and interaction between various material things, creating an illusion of intelligence? Based on what we know and see, one can say that such is not the case. There is more to a human than just the body and thoughts. So how does that go along with the software application analogy and how is a software application different from a human’s life?

To further along this investigation requires that one contemplate on the death of a being. The entire body (infrastructure) is still there but it becomes devoid of life (non-functional). A parallel for the software application would be the infrastructure to exist but not be able to perform (and not because of some programming or infrastructure defect). Such a parallel would be switching off the electrical supply to the infrastructure. Everything would still be there for the application to perform but it could not do a thing.

Such is also the case with us living beings. There is a ‘current’ that flows that makes it possible for the body to act. The loss of this ‘power supply’ is what we call as death. This ‘current’ is of such importance to us that in its absence we are able to bury or burn the left behind body without any sense of guilt. There is more to life than meets the eye.

Just as no one essentially thinks of electricity as being part of the software application most of us do not contemplate on the energy that makes life possible (is life itself?). We go on with our lives taking this for granted (just as a programmer takes for granted that there will be electricity available to run his code).

Although I don’t think the software is capable of contemplating on the nature of the electricity that keeps it running, we human beings do have such capacity. And to exercise this capacity is to be introspective, contemplative, meditative, or to indulge into the great investigation of ‘who am I?’

Different cultures and religious organizations have given different names to this ‘electricity’ that makes life possible: soul, atma, god, prana, chi, and many other names. However, the description is not the described; description of food cannot fill an empty stomach. This has, however, not kept us from attempting to do so. This is what has led to the birth and propagation of religion. It has also not kept us from acting as if our hungry stomachs got full just by the description of the food, which is where a religion's blind followers come into play.

In absence of ready access to food it is easier to convince oneself that one is not hungry as opposed to going out to look for food and coming upon treacherous circumstances instead. However, the hunger tells a different tale and keeps us restless and in acute discomfort. Such is also the case with most of us who either out of fear, convenience, or greed, have falsely convinced ourselves of our spiritual satiety based on religious philosophies and have given up the effort required to undertake an individual inquiry into the truth.

Although this brings some comfort in the form of not needing to ‘go out’ it does not really quench the longing (the hunger) and keeps one restless, yearning, and seeking every moment of one’s life. No philosophy will ever quench this hunger.

Lack of a sincere personal inquiry into the nature of one’s true self only strengthens one’s ignorance and hence suffering. In absence of such knowledge one could get easily disconsolate by believing the loss of the outer status, relationship, health etc to be the loss of the self; become egotistically boastful by taking the outer accumulation of wealth, health etc as the expansion of the self; and could become depressed by not being able to control all the changes in the outer circumstances as a way to feel good within.

One application may be more important than the next, another may be more defect-free, another may be more responsive, yet another may have a very user friendly interface. However, at the core of all applications is the same energy that makes them run, perform, outperform. These applications may start believing that the world in which they compete and operate is the only reality but that is only until someone ‘pulls the plug’. By then it is too late to understand what went wrong.

It then, as humans, is upon us to investigate into and understand the nature of this energy that we call life while it still energizes us. It is as much a responsibility as an opportunity to remain mindful of this common source as we play our parts in the outer world. Being competitive, ambitions, loving, kind, greedy, angry, compassionate are all part of being human. However, it is imperative to make time to investigate into the true nature of things, to make an attempt at determining what lies behind all of these human experiences. Such investigation starts revealing the truth of impermanence – an application that is considered legacy (archaic) today was a superstar once; a person who is a hero today would be a mere name tomorrow.

In this ever changing application and human landscape, what is that constant factor that is never changing and which makes it all possible? What is it that we continue to seek every moment of our lives and is it ever possible to come upon the end of that search without gaining an insight into the fundamental truth that drives all that is seen driving around?

A hike through the inner darkness

This evening was unusual, different from most evenings. I went on a night-time hike with some people I met for the first time, to the top of a 500 ft high peak. It does not sound much of a challenge but in the night's darkness it can get a little intimidating especially as one tries to scramble up steep inclines amid tumbling loose boulders and stones with a leg that only recently recovered from surgery.

A quarter way into the hike - by which time we had left the parking lot and city lights way behind and I probably could not find my way back easily - it occurred to me how secure I felt in these strange surroundings. Moonless night, desert landscapes, steep cliffs to the side, narrow windy pathways, which I had never walked before, and in the company of six complete strangers.

If I had been alone, my state of mind would have been quite a contrast. Why does the mind find security in numbers? It is not that any of them could keep another form falling over, or breaking a joint, or getting hurt. Yet, the knowledge that one is not alone was amazingly comforting. Why does the mind seek comfort/security at all?

It was also interesting to see how easily the mind trusts a complete stranger in times of difficulty, whom it may have doubted when ensconced in abundance. A mind that finds security in things sees another person as a threat while a mind that is able to acknowledge its insecurity becomes capable of regarding another's presence as comforting. But in both cases it is an insecure mind and it remains trapped with the other - either seeking protection from another or through another.

How is such a mind to come upon a true sense of security and does there exist such a thing? Can the mind be free of fear? And is it possible for a fearful mind to know love? And what is love?

The mind got engaged in the hike not at the start time of the hike but way before that. It got engaged when it first started feeling lonely, when it decided to seek comfort of company of another, when it started seeking things to do in a group, when it signed up for the hiking group, and also when it started questioning itself regarding the point of it all. And it all came to fore when the hike started. The mind's revolt became stronger and stronger - "why am I doing this? this is silly! I should head back now; I can tell them my knee does not feel right..." and a million other scares. and then the other calm voice - also of the mind - just keep going, just keep going, you will feel better when it is all done.

And one does go on in spite of the struggle, very aware of the struggle, even in face of outward calm. The hike starts to get more difficult, as does keeping up with the mind's venting. We have covered a quarter of the hike. There is still time to turn around; "Can I find my way back? Will someone help me find the way back should I decide to return?" Just keep going, just keep going.

Then interestingly enough there comes a point of no return and the mind intuitively knows it. It then shuts up and starts focusing on what is at hand. It is finally able to quite its chatter and take in the view. It acknowledges the company around it. It is still longing for the time when it will be back in safety and comfort but it now knows that to go beyond it has to go through. That there is now no turning back. How many times in our life have we been unable to move forward with complete energy and enthusiasm because we kept a back door open out of fear, which the mind never let go out of its sight?

Such is also the mind's behavior when it comes to daily living. It repels anything new that poses a challenge and comes up with a million reasons and excuses for why it is a bad idea. Most of the times we get caught up in its chatter and give in before we reach the 'point of no return'. What enables one to keep going in face of mind's opposition? I could have turned back but I did not. Why?

For me it came from having an understanding of the mechanics of the mind. I have seen it enough in motion to know how it spurts and barfs before it would come to a smooth zoom forward. The other thing that kept me going was the understanding that if I turned back now it would mean more strength to a weak mind, which would result in much severe consequences in my life when it came to decision making, choosing right over wrong, and having the courage to move forward in face of adversity or the unknown. The third aspect, and this I believe was very important, was rooted in intelligence and knowledge of matching my strength and skills against the challenge. It is also possible to bully one's mind or to be confident out of ignorance but such behavior sooner or later only brings about harm and repentance.

It is then important to understand that the nature of the mind is to seek security; it finds security and comfort in the familiar; it is willing to widen its circle of trust when faced with adversity; it shuts people out in presence of perceived security of material abundance; it detests and revolts against the unknown, especially when the unknown threatens the known; the only way to tame it is to understand it; and, finally, to challenge the mind without a clear understanding of its workings would sooner or later end up being a recipe for disaster.

One may question why is it so important to attend to the mind with such acute awareness. The mind is at the root of everything that we know as our life. It is in the mind's soil that the seed of desire sprouts, it is this seed that becomes a thought, it is this thought that becomes an action, and it is this action that brings about a consequence that is our life as we know it.

Without understanding one's own mind one can have no understanding of one's life. And without such understanding one would forever remain a slave to one's mental conditionings. Such a slave can never come upon that thing called love or freedom, without which life, no matter adorned with how many riches, remains still and unborn.

The King's Speech

Just got back after watching this movie. It was striking to witness the amazing acting talent at display. Both the lead actors do an amazing job. Although the subject is royalty, the story itself is deeply human. It speaks volumes about the burden of abundance, the loneliness of power, and the isolation of the distinct.

It was quite touching to see a prince struggle with the simple act of speaking, marred by inner fears of incapability, inadequacy, and of being less than what is expected of him by those around him who freely demand that the expectations of their own lives be fulfilled at the altar of another.

It is a great illustration of the truth of human frailty and of an ignored life that lies behind the masks that one puts on or adorns as handed down by the society. The movie beautifully goes on to demonstrate that it is only when one can come to terms with one's real face and persona that one can truly carry out the role that the mask requires of its bearer.

Only in truly knowing oneself can one assume another form without fear or confusion that may otherwise haunt one with an unclear definition of one's own existence. Such is also the truth of our daily life.