Success. Happiness. Two elusive goals – perplexing and confusing. Does success lead to happiness or does being happy bring about success?
In most of our lives success is as eluding as the definition of it. If definition of success were to be happy, the two goals will be in much congruence. We associate success with accomplishing, achieving, and getting there, while happiness is a function of contentment, satisfaction and being here and now. We are touched by happiness on our journey to success because the sense of achieving makes it desirable to stay with the accomplishment (the here and now) until discontentment seeps in again and we set out yet again on the journey of accomplishment.
Hence pursuit of success gives glimpses of happiness with an illusory hope that somehow we will be able to hold on to the happiness that we have experienced on the way. The momentary taste of happiness makes success addictive. The more we succeed, the more moments we find in our life with which we want to stick and stay (here and now), and more we continue to seek achievements.
But in pursuits of goals, contentment and satisfaction continue to evade us and hence none of our happy moments last forever. And hence the need to accomplish more, achieve more, so that – if only in brief fleeting moments – we can have a glimpse of contentment, satisfaction, of the here and now – all of which, if put together, is termed happiness.
Many of us wonder if we could ever achieve success if we were content. The way we define success, it sure goes to say the answer is probably no. Happiness – if set as a goal – becomes unattainable. Goals create a distance between what is and what we would like it to be. If happiness is contentment, then this distance is the death of happiness.
So does that mean that success and happiness are mutually exclusive for the most part? Does this mean that goals make us unhappy? Does this mean that a happy society cannot achieve? If we associate contentment with non-action, then yes.
However, contentment and non-action are not synonymous. Even though contentment accepts things the way they are, it does not rule out the need for change. It simply acknowledges and accepts the present situation along with its possible discontent. It also acknowledges the need for action, where necessary. What differentiates contentment from ambition and frustration is not the lack of action but the absence of impatience. Contentment is patience. Contentment is perseverance. It is willing to try endlessly in a chosen direction without ever being at war with its current situation.
Underlying all pursuits of success is a desire for happiness. Happiness as an end is non-attainable. Happiness as a means is already available. If we are not happy in our pursuits, we will inevitably find our ends to be lonely, hollow and meaningless as well.
29 August 2011
I've Loved You So Long
I've Loved You So Long is a French drama film, which tells the story of a woman struggling to be 'normal' in her interactions and with herself after spending fifteen years in prison, under the charge of killing her young son. For the entire time since the act, Juliette never says a word to anyone about the ordeal. She neither defends herself nor blame anyone for what she did. She remains indifferent to life around her. Her mysterious silence forms the basis of the movie.
Juliette was presented with a personal challenge, which she chooses to address in the best way that she thought possible. That response involved taking the life of her own and only son, in order to keep him from suffering through an incurable and a very painful terminal illness. I differ from Juliette on her choice, but then the choices we make are defined as much by who we are as the role they play in determining who we become.
What Juliette carried was not the silence but the burden of guilt. Guilt of her failure, of her inability to save her child, of her having to make the choice to end the very life that she brought to this world. What Juliette carried was also anger at the injustice of it all, the ruthlessness and brutal cruelty of it. Juliette was not seeking to be understood. She did not seek to exonerate herself of any blame. She was not looking for salvation or comfort. Juliette's silence was her protest against life, against beauty, against existence. It was a very personal expression of her grief, anger, remorse, and guilt.
Her silence finally broke not because it was time but because of the healing that she experienced in being with her sister's family, in finding her ability to care and be giving again to her sister's child, in finally accepting that sometimes things go the way they do not because we were lacking, incapable, or failures, but because that is how they just happened to be on that occasion.
Juliette was presented with a personal challenge, which she chooses to address in the best way that she thought possible. That response involved taking the life of her own and only son, in order to keep him from suffering through an incurable and a very painful terminal illness. I differ from Juliette on her choice, but then the choices we make are defined as much by who we are as the role they play in determining who we become.
What Juliette carried was not the silence but the burden of guilt. Guilt of her failure, of her inability to save her child, of her having to make the choice to end the very life that she brought to this world. What Juliette carried was also anger at the injustice of it all, the ruthlessness and brutal cruelty of it. Juliette was not seeking to be understood. She did not seek to exonerate herself of any blame. She was not looking for salvation or comfort. Juliette's silence was her protest against life, against beauty, against existence. It was a very personal expression of her grief, anger, remorse, and guilt.
Her silence finally broke not because it was time but because of the healing that she experienced in being with her sister's family, in finding her ability to care and be giving again to her sister's child, in finally accepting that sometimes things go the way they do not because we were lacking, incapable, or failures, but because that is how they just happened to be on that occasion.
28 August 2011
Arjuna in battle with the Buddha
While reading the following from a treatise on Gita: Those who fail to perform their duty consciously and skillfully, attain nothing and are not respected in the society. When a person ignores his duties, others think disparagingly of him... The following question popped up in the mind - Is this always so? And even if it is, so what? One's actions cannot always be a slave to another's opinion otherwise we would have never had Buddha amidst us (who gave up his duty as a father, as a son, as a husband, in his search for the Truth).
Ill fame influences one and creates inferiority complex. And [when] one realizes that it is one's own mistake that brought ill fame to him, his inner strength is weakened. One begins to condemn himself and suicidal tendencies may develop. This is something that we see around us quite frequently and, for many of us, in our own life.
In all situations the aspirant should learn to maintain his inner strength. And inner strength cannot be maintained if there is inner conflict and if there is no clarity of mind.
This follow-on text clearly answers the previous question. Buddha did not have an inner conflict about his goal. He was of a very clear and of a very sound mind about what he needed to do and hence carried a great inner strength and was unaffected by and indifferent to the opinions that others may have had of him.
In addition, he was not as much running away from something as towards another that pulled strongly at his heart. Many of us today use spirituality as a means to escape from the worldly struggles rather than as a way to deepen our understanding of the Truth and of ourselves. It is because of this latter sentiment that Krishna cautions Arjuna against turning his back upon the battle. Arjuna is not truly aspiring for peace, non-violence, or universal brotherhood. He is instead interested in avoiding the battle to prevent an outcome that, to him, is both scary and unpleasant.
It is then important to understand that inner conflict - which can result from too much desire, or from a dissonance between what one knows one should be doing and what one does instead, or from the inability to stand by one's choices and decisions - weakens one's inner strength.
Also, actions geared at escaping from one's current predicament, only serve to weaken one's inner self. One's inner strength is also weakened by actions rooted in individualistic greed or fear - as was the case with Arjuna - versus moving forward with a desire for well-being of another or of all beings - which was Buddha's quest.
It is important to understand and to act upon the factors that weaken one's inner strength for without inner strength no meaningful achievement is possible, much less a sense of peace, joy, or harmony.
Ill fame influences one and creates inferiority complex. And [when] one realizes that it is one's own mistake that brought ill fame to him, his inner strength is weakened. One begins to condemn himself and suicidal tendencies may develop. This is something that we see around us quite frequently and, for many of us, in our own life.
In all situations the aspirant should learn to maintain his inner strength. And inner strength cannot be maintained if there is inner conflict and if there is no clarity of mind.
This follow-on text clearly answers the previous question. Buddha did not have an inner conflict about his goal. He was of a very clear and of a very sound mind about what he needed to do and hence carried a great inner strength and was unaffected by and indifferent to the opinions that others may have had of him.
In addition, he was not as much running away from something as towards another that pulled strongly at his heart. Many of us today use spirituality as a means to escape from the worldly struggles rather than as a way to deepen our understanding of the Truth and of ourselves. It is because of this latter sentiment that Krishna cautions Arjuna against turning his back upon the battle. Arjuna is not truly aspiring for peace, non-violence, or universal brotherhood. He is instead interested in avoiding the battle to prevent an outcome that, to him, is both scary and unpleasant.
It is then important to understand that inner conflict - which can result from too much desire, or from a dissonance between what one knows one should be doing and what one does instead, or from the inability to stand by one's choices and decisions - weakens one's inner strength.
Also, actions geared at escaping from one's current predicament, only serve to weaken one's inner self. One's inner strength is also weakened by actions rooted in individualistic greed or fear - as was the case with Arjuna - versus moving forward with a desire for well-being of another or of all beings - which was Buddha's quest.
It is important to understand and to act upon the factors that weaken one's inner strength for without inner strength no meaningful achievement is possible, much less a sense of peace, joy, or harmony.
14 August 2011
What is it that I know with absolute certainty?
On close examination one finds that there is not much in life that one is sure of. Most of the things that we believe to be true are just that - beliefs in face of uncertainty driven by a desire to be secure. It is then of great import to sincerely inquire into the nature of belief and to also inquire into what is it that one is truly certain of in this life.
On such introspection I find that there is very little that I am certain of. Most of what I know is because of eiher I have read in a book, heard it through people, is widely accepted by the crowds, or is considered a given. There then remains this very little, though immensely significant, that I find myself absolutely certain of:
1. Death - mine, another's. That which is born is bound to die.
2. The connection between perception and happiness. It would be quite an act on my part to deny the fact of my daily experience - whether a given event will inspire or enclose me within myself is determined largely by how my mind interprets it, perceives it, defines it. There is an undeniable link between one's mindset and one's state of mind (happiness).
3. All sensory beauty is passing and ephemeral. The music may be most melodious but how long can one listen to it? However tasty the food may be, the tongue has its limitation. No matter how beautiful the sight the eyes do get tired of it eventually. Senses are limited in their capacity to perceive and savor.
4. I know of absolutely nothing, that can be perceived by the senses and is not subject to change, decay, and eventual demise. Just as the senses are temporal, so are the objects perceived by them.
5. The experience of love in one's heart is the one and only immediate transformational happening.
On such introspection I find that there is very little that I am certain of. Most of what I know is because of eiher I have read in a book, heard it through people, is widely accepted by the crowds, or is considered a given. There then remains this very little, though immensely significant, that I find myself absolutely certain of:
1. Death - mine, another's. That which is born is bound to die.
2. The connection between perception and happiness. It would be quite an act on my part to deny the fact of my daily experience - whether a given event will inspire or enclose me within myself is determined largely by how my mind interprets it, perceives it, defines it. There is an undeniable link between one's mindset and one's state of mind (happiness).
3. All sensory beauty is passing and ephemeral. The music may be most melodious but how long can one listen to it? However tasty the food may be, the tongue has its limitation. No matter how beautiful the sight the eyes do get tired of it eventually. Senses are limited in their capacity to perceive and savor.
4. I know of absolutely nothing, that can be perceived by the senses and is not subject to change, decay, and eventual demise. Just as the senses are temporal, so are the objects perceived by them.
5. The experience of love in one's heart is the one and only immediate transformational happening.
13 August 2011
To have Faith
Neither I, nor you, nor anyone else knows what the future holds. At times it can seem as if we can predict or anticipate the future but the future never loses its capacity to surprise us. What we see happening around us is life in all its glory, its struggles, its possibilities, its challenges, its gifts - unfolding into the human drama of daily living. We will all like to pick what we consider as flowers and set aside what we think of as thorns. However, the wise know that the thorn is no different from the flower it protects just as the flower is the same as the thorn that it makes bearable.
I do not know what today has been like for you nor can I tell what tomorrow will be like - for you, for me, for any of us. Much of life, like an iceberg, stays hidden from our view. What we see is but a small part of it. We do not know the bigger picture, we do not understand the greater connections and complexities and hence our confusion and hence the need for faith in face of adversity and even otherwise. Faith acknowledges our ignorance and reinforces our trust in availability of grace and guidance through the trying and tiring days of our journey.
No one knows how long or short a life is - neither of another nor our own. Any moment as we know it could be our last. We do not have much say in how long our life will be or should be.
It is then of great import and of immense urgency that we be able to free our hearts of all fear, of all prejudice, of all insecurity and embrace the present and make it come alive in love, in celebration. To not spend the days of our life mired in trepidation but instead attend to them totally and completely by smiling within and without, by anchoring our hearts in love and compassion, by holding on tightly to our faith and never letting go, by sharing the burden of our fellow travelers, by having a conversation with a stranger out of genuine care and concern, to attend to our struggles and still have much room to assist another make it through their day with vigor and triumph.
We must not let anything undermine our faith. Faith is not weak, faith is not passive. Faith is fierce, faith can fight, faith can challenge and transmute fate itself. Faith is not hope. Faith is not desire for a certain outcome. Faith is the confidence and conviction in one's ability to stoically get through anything and everything that the day might present, that life may put forward. Faith is our inner strength. Faith is the smile in a dark night. Faith is the courage to put the next foot forward in spite of pain, in spite of sorrow, in spite of suffering. Faith is the resolve to be a light, to be love, to be of service to one and to all. Faith is the trust that no matter what comes or what goes, our ability to smile, to love, and to serve is always within and is always available.
May all of us, throughout our lives, be blessed with the grace and the good fortune to have the courage and the capacity to wipe every tear that we can, bring as many smiles as we can, and serve with all of our heart and mind as much as we can.
I do not know what today has been like for you nor can I tell what tomorrow will be like - for you, for me, for any of us. Much of life, like an iceberg, stays hidden from our view. What we see is but a small part of it. We do not know the bigger picture, we do not understand the greater connections and complexities and hence our confusion and hence the need for faith in face of adversity and even otherwise. Faith acknowledges our ignorance and reinforces our trust in availability of grace and guidance through the trying and tiring days of our journey.
No one knows how long or short a life is - neither of another nor our own. Any moment as we know it could be our last. We do not have much say in how long our life will be or should be.
It is then of great import and of immense urgency that we be able to free our hearts of all fear, of all prejudice, of all insecurity and embrace the present and make it come alive in love, in celebration. To not spend the days of our life mired in trepidation but instead attend to them totally and completely by smiling within and without, by anchoring our hearts in love and compassion, by holding on tightly to our faith and never letting go, by sharing the burden of our fellow travelers, by having a conversation with a stranger out of genuine care and concern, to attend to our struggles and still have much room to assist another make it through their day with vigor and triumph.
We must not let anything undermine our faith. Faith is not weak, faith is not passive. Faith is fierce, faith can fight, faith can challenge and transmute fate itself. Faith is not hope. Faith is not desire for a certain outcome. Faith is the confidence and conviction in one's ability to stoically get through anything and everything that the day might present, that life may put forward. Faith is our inner strength. Faith is the smile in a dark night. Faith is the courage to put the next foot forward in spite of pain, in spite of sorrow, in spite of suffering. Faith is the resolve to be a light, to be love, to be of service to one and to all. Faith is the trust that no matter what comes or what goes, our ability to smile, to love, and to serve is always within and is always available.
May all of us, throughout our lives, be blessed with the grace and the good fortune to have the courage and the capacity to wipe every tear that we can, bring as many smiles as we can, and serve with all of our heart and mind as much as we can.
08 August 2011
Setting down the burden; to understand each other
Through the years, that which has helped us humans cope with the inexplicable sufferings of this life has also been a cause of immense suffering to us in one form or another. Religion, especially in its fundamentalist form, has not always served us well.
Jesus did not get crucified just because he was so radically different from most people around him but also because he could not convince those around him to witness with an open mind what he had to show and share. We, as humans, have the capacity to build within ourselves insurmountable walls of opinions and believes which even God incarnate could not knock down unless we decided to let Him in. Such is our freedom and such is also our failing.
There is hence little sense in trying to convince another away from what one may believe to be the case at this point in their life. What one holds true today was not their reality yesterday and will not be their truth in time to come, no matter how unlikely it may seem at this instant. There is no constant in this known Universe.
I do, however, hope that as we dwell deeper on the topic of religion and its understanding and as we continue to explore and experiment with our investigation of truth, that we take the time - may be just few minutes in a day - to set aside and put down all that may be on our mind and connect with those around us in a way that is meaningful to us and comforting to them - our family, our friends, our neighbors, the store clerk, the co-worker, the stranger on the road.
Yes, the world has become and continues to be an increasingly dangerous place. It is then of even greater import and importance that we be kind in our word and action to whatever extent may be possible for us - if not for a week, then may be a day, if not a day then may be an hour, if not an hour then may be a minute or even a second.
Perhaps changing the world is a lofty goal for most of us but influencing our immediate environment with a light of joy and care is not beyond our abilities, should we so choose. Let us then rebuild the world immediately around us one thought at a time, one word at a time, one action at a time, one connection, one relationship at a time.
May we all have the intelligence, the courage, the capacity, the compassion and the care to ask ourselves prior to commencing any and all of our communications whether what we are about to think/say/write is true, is kind, is necessary, and whether it will bring comfort to all hearts that may listen to it. And only when it passes this test may we pursue its sharing with the zeal that it deserves.
Jesus did not get crucified just because he was so radically different from most people around him but also because he could not convince those around him to witness with an open mind what he had to show and share. We, as humans, have the capacity to build within ourselves insurmountable walls of opinions and believes which even God incarnate could not knock down unless we decided to let Him in. Such is our freedom and such is also our failing.
There is hence little sense in trying to convince another away from what one may believe to be the case at this point in their life. What one holds true today was not their reality yesterday and will not be their truth in time to come, no matter how unlikely it may seem at this instant. There is no constant in this known Universe.
I do, however, hope that as we dwell deeper on the topic of religion and its understanding and as we continue to explore and experiment with our investigation of truth, that we take the time - may be just few minutes in a day - to set aside and put down all that may be on our mind and connect with those around us in a way that is meaningful to us and comforting to them - our family, our friends, our neighbors, the store clerk, the co-worker, the stranger on the road.
Yes, the world has become and continues to be an increasingly dangerous place. It is then of even greater import and importance that we be kind in our word and action to whatever extent may be possible for us - if not for a week, then may be a day, if not a day then may be an hour, if not an hour then may be a minute or even a second.
Perhaps changing the world is a lofty goal for most of us but influencing our immediate environment with a light of joy and care is not beyond our abilities, should we so choose. Let us then rebuild the world immediately around us one thought at a time, one word at a time, one action at a time, one connection, one relationship at a time.
May we all have the intelligence, the courage, the capacity, the compassion and the care to ask ourselves prior to commencing any and all of our communications whether what we are about to think/say/write is true, is kind, is necessary, and whether it will bring comfort to all hearts that may listen to it. And only when it passes this test may we pursue its sharing with the zeal that it deserves.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)