This evening was unusual, different from most evenings. I went on a night-time hike with some people I met for the first time, to the top of a 500 ft high peak. It does not sound much of a challenge but in the night's darkness it can get a little intimidating especially as one tries to scramble up steep inclines amid tumbling loose boulders and stones with a leg that only recently recovered from surgery.
A quarter way into the hike - by which time we had left the parking lot and city lights way behind and I probably could not find my way back easily - it occurred to me how secure I felt in these strange surroundings. Moonless night, desert landscapes, steep cliffs to the side, narrow windy pathways, which I had never walked before, and in the company of six complete strangers.
If I had been alone, my state of mind would have been quite a contrast. Why does the mind find security in numbers? It is not that any of them could keep another form falling over, or breaking a joint, or getting hurt. Yet, the knowledge that one is not alone was amazingly comforting. Why does the mind seek comfort/security at all?
It was also interesting to see how easily the mind trusts a complete stranger in times of difficulty, whom it may have doubted when ensconced in abundance. A mind that finds security in things sees another person as a threat while a mind that is able to acknowledge its insecurity becomes capable of regarding another's presence as comforting. But in both cases it is an insecure mind and it remains trapped with the other - either seeking protection from another or through another.
How is such a mind to come upon a true sense of security and does there exist such a thing? Can the mind be free of fear? And is it possible for a fearful mind to know love? And what is love?
The mind got engaged in the hike not at the start time of the hike but way before that. It got engaged when it first started feeling lonely, when it decided to seek comfort of company of another, when it started seeking things to do in a group, when it signed up for the hiking group, and also when it started questioning itself regarding the point of it all. And it all came to fore when the hike started. The mind's revolt became stronger and stronger - "why am I doing this? this is silly! I should head back now; I can tell them my knee does not feel right..." and a million other scares. and then the other calm voice - also of the mind - just keep going, just keep going, you will feel better when it is all done.
And one does go on in spite of the struggle, very aware of the struggle, even in face of outward calm. The hike starts to get more difficult, as does keeping up with the mind's venting. We have covered a quarter of the hike. There is still time to turn around; "Can I find my way back? Will someone help me find the way back should I decide to return?" Just keep going, just keep going.
Then interestingly enough there comes a point of no return and the mind intuitively knows it. It then shuts up and starts focusing on what is at hand. It is finally able to quite its chatter and take in the view. It acknowledges the company around it. It is still longing for the time when it will be back in safety and comfort but it now knows that to go beyond it has to go through. That there is now no turning back. How many times in our life have we been unable to move forward with complete energy and enthusiasm because we kept a back door open out of fear, which the mind never let go out of its sight?
Such is also the mind's behavior when it comes to daily living. It repels anything new that poses a challenge and comes up with a million reasons and excuses for why it is a bad idea. Most of the times we get caught up in its chatter and give in before we reach the 'point of no return'. What enables one to keep going in face of mind's opposition? I could have turned back but I did not. Why?
For me it came from having an understanding of the mechanics of the mind. I have seen it enough in motion to know how it spurts and barfs before it would come to a smooth zoom forward. The other thing that kept me going was the understanding that if I turned back now it would mean more strength to a weak mind, which would result in much severe consequences in my life when it came to decision making, choosing right over wrong, and having the courage to move forward in face of adversity or the unknown. The third aspect, and this I believe was very important, was rooted in intelligence and knowledge of matching my strength and skills against the challenge. It is also possible to bully one's mind or to be confident out of ignorance but such behavior sooner or later only brings about harm and repentance.
It is then important to understand that the nature of the mind is to seek security; it finds security and comfort in the familiar; it is willing to widen its circle of trust when faced with adversity; it shuts people out in presence of perceived security of material abundance; it detests and revolts against the unknown, especially when the unknown threatens the known; the only way to tame it is to understand it; and, finally, to challenge the mind without a clear understanding of its workings would sooner or later end up being a recipe for disaster.
One may question why is it so important to attend to the mind with such acute awareness. The mind is at the root of everything that we know as our life. It is in the mind's soil that the seed of desire sprouts, it is this seed that becomes a thought, it is this thought that becomes an action, and it is this action that brings about a consequence that is our life as we know it.
Without understanding one's own mind one can have no understanding of one's life. And without such understanding one would forever remain a slave to one's mental conditionings. Such a slave can never come upon that thing called love or freedom, without which life, no matter adorned with how many riches, remains still and unborn.
