In a recent issue of HBR a case study was showcased. The subject of case study was a co-founder of a startup who is diagnosed with a terminal illness that gives him about 5 years to live at best. He is also the brain behind the venture and enjoys his work. He has before him the opportunity to continue working, to retire to his hometown and spend time with his family, and/or to work with an upcoming research that seeks to raise funds and find a cure for the illness he is facing. The Case Study asks the readers what may be the best choice for this person - continue working, retire with family, or help with the cure. Following is my response:
Dear Editor,
A more apt title may have been "Choices when life is shorter", for life is already short. Most people's first response in face of terminal illness (of theirs or another) is that it is a ticket to do whatever, live however, become happy by any and all means. However, life does not function that way.
For most human beings there is no joy devoid of meaning and of meaningful effort, regardless of whether they have to die today or in fifty years. In many ways when one is in position of responsibility such as a CEO or the head of a family, such adversity brings additional responsibility the recognition and delivering of which is key to passing away peacefully. Steve Jobs is an example in case. Such was also the case with my father. He was the CEO of a multi-national power corporation when he was diagnosed with non-treatable Leukemia. For the next two and a half years he continued to execute his duties with full responsibility. Besides his two close friends the only other people who knew about his illness were the Managing Director and the Board of Directors, that too because he considered that they needed to know to be ready with a succession plan in case he couldn't make it until his retirement. No one saw what he was facing. As family I got a glimpse here and there of how much it scared him, how much he wanted for it to not be true, and of how much he wanted to make sure that he left things in a way that we (his wife and kids) will have an easy time with his passing away, at least from financial and logistical standpoint.
My father survived for six years after his retirement. During those years he tried his best to beat the disease or to delay the inevitable. He was scared and angry but he did not let it stand in the way of how he would have lived his life even if he were not sick. Till his very last days he continued his morning and evening walk, he consulted for companies that sought him for advice, he helped his friends as and when needed, and he continued to be a responsible and giving parent to me and my sister and a good husband to his wife, my mother.
In his final days, chained to seven different tubes in a hospital bed, his only regret was that death was coming too soon for him. On all other fronts he was peaceful and content with having done his best, given his best, and lived a life he loved to the eleventh hour.
For this case study, Gil should continue with that which brings meaning to his life. He should, in addition, pay special attention to new responsibilities that are now required of him - not just managing his emotions but being mindful of the fear, pain, insecurity and hurt that his wife and other family members would be going through; to be cognizant of the concern and fear that his co-workers would carry not just for him but for the future of the organization and what it may mean for their own career. He should also recognize that having an opportunity to fight for this cause is a god-given gift for him and he should make the best of it for there is no greater satisfaction than to have an opportunity to right a seeming wrong.
In the US we idolize the idea of family even though we have among the highest divorce rates. We carry this notion that career somehow happens at the expense of family and hence when faced with such drastic situations our first instinct is that one should quit work and spend more time with family. However, this would be the case for people for whom work is meaningless (and there are many). It is not for those who derive great meaning from their work, as was the case with my father. For those who truly respect and understand the value of work in their life, quitting work is not an option while they are still capable of carrying it out effectively.
I was able to be with my father during the last few weeks of his life. Those were not happy times for me. In fact, those moments were some of the most challenging and full of desperation as I helplessly witnessed him slipping away while still wanting to hold on. Yet, there are no moments, no matter how happy, for which I would trade those days. Our satisfaction in life, of which joy is a side-effect, is derived from meaning, which comes from being useful.
Thank you
